vile_Terrier Thanks for your civil, meaningful and thoughtful response Vile. Allow me to respond respectfully and hopefully match your level.
I feel by the time I was willing to drop the gun and make amends, it was too late - if i even had a shot to begin with. I've seen other people go from enemy to friend to Igor and it usually entailed them apologizing and turning the script to them being the aggressor when the past comments don't reflect that. Following that newly established friendship ive witnessed Igor threaten to revoke their friendship and go back to attacking them if they do not do what he asks. Thats not a friendship i wanted to be a part of or willing to bend down to. Not because of pride or ego. But i feel taking that route is selfish because it only puts the problem past themselves and onto the next person, effectively allowing the toxicity to continue. Thats a transactional relationship based on what someone can provide only. Not a relationship based on admiration, genuine likeness and respect.. I know i tried several times to defuse the situation, other times and most often, I can admit I didn't. But there were times I asked to drop the fued. There was other times I would respond to one of his offensive comments with simply wishing him a lovely day and I do remember he was thrown off by that. I know the text was very extensive between him and I and its easy to miss. But a small amount of my comments were different angles to try and stop the arguing. I'm not confident he ever attempted the same. He only told me to leave and never come back as a solution to our differences.
In addition, I agree with this statement
vile_Terrier The process of understanding others and making friends can be long and requires effort, and for some, that's too much, and they simply don't want to go through it, but it's worth it. I think you would have liked him if you had taken the time to get to know him better, but that's not going to happen anymore.
I'm well into adulthood and I understand the foundation of building a lasting, fruitful relationship. Im also married too, which wouldnt work if I were still stuck in some silly mindset. At work, I'm whats called within the union a "shop steward" it is my duty upon my regular work tasks to fight for my coworkers and myself for a fair, safe and respectful work environment. Im also responsible for aiding in refusing disputes. I've had to go to training for diplomatic exercises to come forward to employers and employees alike and going to my union for reporting and more support if needed. However online is weird. It's easy to get sucked into the drama and type away, in person is much different. So this is me admitting I was not fully professional. However I exercised a lot of restraint, peaceful attemps (in my opinion) and I ended up going around direct confrontation and used reports instead - something i admit i should have focused more in the beginning. I only mention this because I personally don't think its fair to have the lack of a diplomatic breakthrough and a peace talk/truce wholly on my part, when I personally feel I tried quite a few times, but I can't recollect a time the opposing party did the same.
Im also confused on what he was even paranoid about and how I contributed to the very thing he was on about distrusting others. He accused me of being @traisroberts12 which is far from the truth and very far fetched paranoia. I'm probably old enough to be their dad lol. That accusation is beyond my control. I could see perhaps the accusation being to just joining the forum to attack him. But I consistently proved that to be false by jumping in other topics and whole heartedly contributing to them like everyone else was. But apparently that's provocative and he proved to do the exact same thing he accused me of by following me there to attack me. I sincerely, whole heartedly and honestly want to hear how that's not allowed in his eyes or anyone who sees it that way - a guy joins (me), sees bullying and stands up for what appears to be a victim. Then get attacked profusely for doing so while I try to navigate an arguement. When navigating on the arguement seems to not work because of repetitive accusations and no movement, I decide to escape the arguement and my time on the forums being toxic to add screenshots of the game, ideas, etc. That was apparently a line to cross. I was told reports don't work so i cant report, i was not allowed to talk to anyone else on the forum so I can't escape his attacks by going to a different threads. Trying to ask him to make peace wasn't working either after numerous attempts. That leaves the only option to make it stop is to quit. Something I saw countless times in this forums history and it makes me sad because they seemed like genuinely good people. I was not willing to go the same path and be okay with that continuing to someone else. So I documented his present and his past in the forums and fired off numerous reports to Recreate, SMII7Y and vicksy which contributed to what happened. I did not want anyone to go away indefinitely. But after weeks of that, what do i do?
I hope we can continue to discuss this in a civil manner if you decide to continue. But if not, vile, just know I respect you, especially for sticking around and just being a great contributor to this forum we all are a part of. I also appreciate you going back to responding in English towards me. It's a gesture from you I find kind in contrast to what we had before. I do not want any bad blood, and smoothing over our past and hopefully seeing eye to eye with you is meaningful to me. But if we don't see eye to eye and agree to disagree, then peace and respect is the only ammo we should use againts each other on this topic.
Thank you.
